She Was 15

She sat and wondered how she even had friends,

They were all pretty – beautiful even but her…

She felt ugly, worthless, unwanted.

All she wanted was for someone to look at her and say “wow!”

To see some beauty within her soul, the place her true form was hidden.

for them to notice her quirks and take them in with pride,

To look at her as more than a friend.

But! She was fat…

Had no eyebrows…

Her hair wasn’t real…

Her eyes were dull…

And she was angry, sad, passive aggressive, broken.

She sat in her room and cried about stupid things,

She sat in her room and broke down.

And at school she seemed happy, filled with confidence,

Nevertheless, she was falling.

She just wanted to leave.

Leave to a place where there was no harm and no pain

And where beauty didn’t reign supreme – because to her

She lacked in beauty immensely.

She wished to disappear. If only…

She wasn’t good enough and no one cared.

No one cared about her, she was alone and

Could not do anything about it.

Friends who probably didn’t like her ’cause she’s weird.

Parents who looked at her as a disappointment.

Siblings who would have been better off without her.

She wasn’t good enough to be alive.

And every time she fell, she begged herself to stop

Crying. “I’m not worthy of these tears.”

“I’m not good enough to be alive” – just leave her alone

“Im not good enough to be alive” – she knew you were prettier than her

“I’m not good enough to be alive” – she knew you were smarter

“I’m not good enough to be alive” – just leave her alone

She just wanted to be alone.

“I’m not good enough to be alive so why am I still here. Why?”