#Let’sTalk~ The Reality of Starting Uni
For almost half of my life I waited to be at this place. It was never a question for me, you know, I was always going to go to uni. I was going to make the friends that will last a lifetime and make unforgettable memories and collect a plethora of stories for the kids to hear and think ‘I can’t wait for that to be me’. I was going to be ‘That uni girl’. Join all the societies, maybe even become president of one eventually, find myself and grow and flourish in ways I couldn’t imagine. Now, of course all of this is sheer exaggeration, I didn’t per say think I’d become a president of anything and well I’m slightly too anti-social to join societies and create communities but you get the gist of what I’m attempting to say. Basically, university is meant to be the best years of ones life but in all honesty… Nella Rose lied to us. She did and Ehis warned us.
Uni is what you make of it and despite my attempt of making my experience here great, it still kinda sucks.
They don’t tell you that it you are randomly hit with excruciating moments of loneliness. They don’t tell you that you really and truly need the spirit of discernment to decipher the real from the fake because there are snakes all over this place and well I’m scared of snakes. They don’t tell you that the game is tough… because that’s what uni life is – a game! And a harsh one at that.
Although I’ve been lucky in the department of friends in which I can say that I managed to weed out the snakes earlier on in the year, this world that we’ve been thrown into is something that we honestly didn’t get prepared for at all. Adulting in this environment is such a drastic change from what we’ve been sheltered from our whole life that in order to survive here you need to stay cautious and wary and please, have common sense.
I never thought that I would be the type to miss home, and surprisingly enough, during first semester I found myself hopping on a train more often than I had money for. It wasn’t even per say that I missed my parents and the drag that is living under their rule, it was more the comfort and genuinity of home. I don’t need a third eye when I’m at home because I’m certain that my family and friends form home will not harm me (purposely). I had invested years into finding the perfect group of friends for me, we have formed a bond that is now as thick as blood. We are raw and open and honest with one another: the family I actually chose. But here at uni, everyone is fake at first, including me. I was definitely guilty of putting on a fake smile and showering people with compliments that may not always have been true at the beginning. What is scary is that we are 5 months into uni, second semester and there are still people who have this farcical life and personality that they portray, snakes that wish to harm you, and predator boys who no matter how many times you say no are still persistent!
Let me not even get into the whole concept of loneliness which has been reformed for me. Loneliness: sadness because one has no friends or company. That is what it used to mean, now however it means sitting in your room in deep contemplation and wondering if this is all life has to offer you. Knowing you have at least one genuine friend who you could go visit but choosing to sit in your bed, slowly moulding into the furniture and becoming a part of it. Uni is lonely no matter how many friends you collect along the way. You feel as though you have no one because well, I’ve only knew these people a couple of months and I don’t have the money to go out and do something and I don’t know if I’m being bothersome or a whole whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.
This ‘rant’, is coming to an end because I could and would go on forever. Don’t get me wrong uni isn’t the worst place to be at, you do gain a sense of community and there are moments of sheer pleasure and enjoyment, it’s fun meeting new people (maybe) and you somewhat come out of your shell in ways you may not have knew possible. But remember, the game is tough… because that’s what uni life is – a game!