HOPE IS A DANGEROUS THING FOR A WOMAN LIKE ME ~

HOPE IS A DANGEROUS THING FOR A WOMAN LIKE ME TO HAVE.

If you asked E, one of my best friends to tell you about me, she would probably describe me as sweet, amazing, intelligent and all that jazz (yes, E, I know how much you love me). Depending on how the conversation goes, she might mention that I am a pessimist. I know this because a lot of times when we are talking, she would give me this annoyed look and say “Ede, you are too negative, always negative”. 

It always made me laugh because I didn’t think of myself as negative, I preferred the term realist. I believed that I made logical predictions and conclusions based on facts that I could see, it didn’t hurt that most times despite how gloomy these predictions seem, I ended up right. The people always left, the job overwhelmed me, plans fell through, wishes proved to be anything but horses. Growing up, I decided that being logical and sensible would be the best way to go through life without pain and disappointments but it took a conversation with another friend sometime this year, to see that I am also jaded.

Somehow, all of that realism and logic made me angry, tired and sad at the world and the way it treats me. I did not want to try anymore because past events showed that I would fail, the plan would fail, hopes would shatter, life would happen and I would end up as the exact same thing I despised, heartbroken.

Somehow, I also forgot that logic stated that people are different, that there is a chance of failure but also a chance of success. I forgot that having hope was not stupid but it was realistic, I forgot all of the tight corners I had been in but I somehow squeezed out of. I forgot all of the good things that had happened to me and focused on the bad things, on all of my weaknesses and flaws I shone light till they became all I saw. All the ways it could fail without looking at all the ways it could not. I was 21 and I was a pessimist (Congratulations, E, you were right *cue eye roll). In that same line of thought, I decided that I’m too young to be that jaded and negative. Yes, disappointments will come but good things will come too. I decided that the monsters under my bed would not always win and I am trying to be okay with that.

Habits are hard to change but I am trying to change mine. I’m trying to shift focus to the love that God has for me, my amazing support system that expands every other day, the fact that I am intelligent, beautiful and everything is working together for my good. 

I will be 22 on the 23rd of June and I can only say in the words of Lana Del Ray, “Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have … but I have it”.

Comments

  • Mimie
    23/06/2020

    This is a really awesome piece, Ede. I am so proud!

  • Hypeman Lomo.
    23/06/2020

    This made me happy and sad.
    But this is beautifully well written. ?

  • Sparkle
    23/06/2020

    Beautiful piece ??

  • Gracey Amure
    23/06/2020

    This piece brought tears to my eyes, thanks for reminding us of hope, life, love, beauty and above all the love of God and family and friends that keeps us going

  • Enakeno
    23/06/2020

    Never disappoints.. Well written

  • Omamo
    23/06/2020

    Beautifully written

  • Dimma
    23/06/2020

    Here’s to being hopeful.

  • Coco
    23/06/2020

    This is beautiful

  • Osagie jr
    23/06/2020

    Well crafted and beautifully written, thank you for this amazing piece.

  • Osagie jr
    23/06/2020

    Well crafted and beautifully written

  • Simpa
    23/06/2020

    It’s so relatable Ede
    Beautifully written

  • Kathryn
    23/06/2020

    This brought memories back. Sigh. Thank you, Ede.

  • Ese
    23/06/2020

    I drew inspiration from your words. It’s a beautiful write up

  • Osas Smile
    23/06/2020

    Indeed, hope is a dangerous thing to have…nice one Ede.

  • Aisha
    23/06/2020

    This is a beautiful peice❤️❤️, here being hopeful ??

  • Aisha
    23/06/2020

    This is a beautiful peice❤️❤️, here being hopeful ??. ❤️

  • JoyToTheWords
    23/06/2020

    This reminds me of the first novel I remember reading as a child. The male lead character said to the female lead, ‘You’re too young to be this cynical’. I’ve never forgotten it.

    Hope is a dangerous thing, but also a fine one. It’s what makes us try again, leave the bed again, open a blank page again, join another fitness challenge, love again. Without hope, what do we have?

    I’m glad your focus is changing. Really glad. Long may your gaze settle on the good, the positive, and the impossible.

    Love you, girl. Happy birthday!

  • Anita
    23/06/2020

    Lovely and encouraging

  • Léwá
    23/06/2020

    This is such a beautiful piece. Well done ?

  • Evangel
    23/06/2020

    I love you baby Ede, cheers to a life of hopes and reality.

  • Ayomide
    23/06/2020

    This is a beautiful piece ❤️

  • Joma
    23/06/2020

    Beautiful piece

  • Kossy
    24/06/2020

    Wow this is beautiful

  • Vickii
    24/06/2020

    And may you never lose it ???
    Beautifully done baby girl.

  • Jewel Egele
    24/06/2020

    This is so inspiring ?…Thank you for sharing darling

  • Dhalia
    24/06/2020

    I’m so glad your focus is changing. I love you girl and you are totally amazing. This is a lovely article. Happy birthday baby♥️

  • Elizabeth
    24/06/2020

    Edee! You kept me glued all through and it’s relatable. Often times, we focus so much on our weaknesses, rather than appreciating our little but mighty steps. With everything around, it’s so easy to get carried away.
    Really, I’ve mastered the habit of not expecting much tbh and it has worked so well for me, I really don’t get pained or mad when things don’t go as planned, I just shrug, and move on to the next big time. It’s always a 50-50 for me, sometimes it’s great on other days, it isn’t.

    You did a great job, Ede ?

  • Ede N
    24/06/2020

    I might not be able to reply every comment but I want you guys to know I appreciate every single one of them.
    Here’s to seeing the good in every seemingly terrible situation ?

  • Just bring it
    24/06/2020

    Just the right sauce!

  • Delicious
    24/06/2020

    Beautiful piece❤️ ??

  • Ogaga Kekeke
    25/06/2020

    Catching title. I had to find out who this lady was, great write up. The world, society, individuals are in need of hope.

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